"Shane, You're Hurt!"

Monday May 7 7:45 PM

For a guy who never swears Shane Doan sure performed a spot-on impression of Pierre Trudeau last friday when he scored three goals in less than seven minutes for Team Canada at the World Hockey Championship in Russia. Vintage Trudeau in fact. In both official languages.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsZRxyK2YMg

In dragging Doan through the political process the seperatists ran into their toughest opponent since Trudeau. Tough but clean. Who knew an NHL captain never swears, or even says fuddle duddle for that matter? I'm a proud Canadian but watching some of the gutless pukes who run this country try to turn Doan into Canada's version of David Duke was embarassing. The fact that Doan was the first to launch a lawsuit (against the lying, blowhard of a former sports minister Denis Coderre) should have sent a loud and clear signal that this former first round draft pick is not your typical NHL player. I keep reading about how "frivolous" the suit is(Coderre counter-sued). But how would you react if a federal minister accused you of uttering a racial slur if it never happened? I liken it to the Jose Canseco book. For all the denials about steroid use that Canseco alleged , from Rafael Palmeiro to Juan Gonzalez to Ivan Rodriguez to Mark McGwire, among many others, there wasn't a single lawsuit launched. Now if a best selling book claimed you were juicing when in fact the only juice you consumed was orange, wouldn't you want to sue Canseco's bulky ass?

Next time you watch a tape of the incident watch everybody on the ice.

Carefully.

One of the referees delivers a friendly pat to Doan's hip. The same ref takes off in a hurry as soon as Cormier sticks his finger in Doan's face. Doan reacts as if he can't believe what he's been told. Cormier, who's likely heard enough all night, almost sprints to the officials room. Doan is escorted off the ice.

Fast forward two years. Most of the french media is relentless in slagging Doan after he is named captain of Team Canada. What do they know about him? That he's a unilingual anglo from Alberta. Enough to convict. People who know Doan and claim he could not have uttered a slur are completely dismissed. The fact that Colin Campbell and the NHL cleared Doan is also seen as meaningless because it's just the NHL trying to cover up. Politicians from all parties are quick to condemn. Jack Layton says Doan's captaincy will "overshadow" Team Canada. But as the tide begins to turn, and it becomes more and more clear that Doan might in fact be the cleanest captain in the history of sports, Hockey Canada gets slagged for not having a single francophone player on Team Canada, as if Vincent Lecavalier wasn't invited (so were seven other french players who declined). Denis Gauthier tells Denis Casavant that Doan, one of his best friends, did not say what he's accused of saying. Daniel Briere in Buffalo concurs. Layton, giving new meaning to wishy-washy and weak kneed, reverses himself and leaves a voice mail apology on Doan's phone.

It's a belly full of laughs, for Jacques Parizeau. Until Doan scores the hat trick.

Terry Ryan had the best line of the week. Speaking from St. John's during his weekly monday chat Ryan, selected by the Canadiens right after Winnipeg picked Doan in 1995, said there are more strong leaders on Team Canada than on Parliament Hill.

I have two incredible daughters. If one of them had been a son we would have named him Shane. I can't help but wonder if Bernie & Bernice Doan named their son for the same reason. (A) Character:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvVbXkgVUVw

Still with character, I think NFL comissioner Roger Goodell might be close to suspending Michael Vick. Especially after this letter from the Humane Society of the United States reaches his desk:


May 3, 2007
Roger Goodell
Commissioner
National Football League
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017

Dear Mr. Goodell:

On behalf of The Humane Society of the United States (The HSUS), the nation’s largest
animal protection organization, I am writing to you regarding recent dog fighting
allegations against Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick. In light of these serious
allegations and other incidents of illegal animal fighting involving NFL players, The
HSUS is calling upon the NFL to collaborate with us in an organized effort to eradicate
animal cruelty and illegal animal fighting activity from the ranks of the NFL.
As you and most of the public are keenly aware of by now, Michael Vick is the subject of
an ongoing investigation into allegations that he operated an illegal dog fighting operation
out of his Virginia home. During a drug-related raid on the home, authorities found over
fifty pit bulls, all of whom were in various stages of physical deterioration, locked inside
concrete kennels behind the home. Also found was an inventory of instruments specific to
organized dog fighting operations. Confidential informants of The Humane Society of the
United States have provided us with prior intelligence about Mr. Vick’s participation in
this practice.
We believe that the current situation involving Michael Vick is indicative of a larger
subculture within the NFL of dog fighting and other forms of violence against animals.
Indeed, dogfighters do not typically stage fights between two animals they own. Rather,
they fight their dogs against the dogs of other aficionados. The HSUS tracks 10
underground dog fighting magazines and a laundry list of web sites, and we can assure you
that this is a major underground criminal industry. You may be aware that former NFL
player LeShon Johnson was recently convicted of illegal dog fighting after a raid in
Oklahoma in which 141 fighting dogs were seized.
Likewise former Dallas Cowboys lineman Nate Newton was once arrested at a dog fight,
and former Oakland Raider Tyrone Wheatley, a former pit-bull breeder, once glorified pit
bull fighting by describing it as “instinctive” and “motivational” in a 2001 Sports
Illustrated interview. Wheatley also reportedly even once bragged about having sold dogs
for fighting.

Page 2
More recently, in February 2007, Atlanta Falcons Jonathan Babineaux was charged with
animal cruelty for allegedly beating to death of his girlfriend’s pit bull. Charges against
Babineaux are still pending, but the case, like all of the aforementioned cases, underscores
the need for the NFL to undertake a truly aggressive outreach program targeting the issue
of illegal animal fighting and animal cruelty among its players.
The problem of illegal animal fighting and other forms of animal cruelty is widespread, but
they have a particular significance where high-profile sports personalities are concerned
because of the influence the behavior and habits of these athletes have over fans. As you
yourself stated in announcing the NFL’s recently-amended Personal Conduct Policy, “It is
important that the NFL be represented consistently by outstanding people as well as great
football players, coaches, and staff."
Dog fighting is a serious crime, not only causing appalling animal cruelty, but also often
associated with other criminal activity, such as narcotics traffic, illegal gambling, and
human violence. All 50 states ban dog fighting, and it is a felony in 48 states. The
Congress just passed legislation making it a federal felony to move fighting dogs across
state lines, with penalties per violation of 3 years in jail and fines up to $250,000.
We invite you to join with The HSUS in crafting the guidelines for an effective, zerotolerance
policy for NFL players and staff regarding animal cruelty and illegal animal
fighting. We feel such a partnership has the potential to positively impact millions of
young people in communities who look up to NFL athletes as role models. Additionally, a
partnership between the HSUS and the NFL will help support the NFL’s stated goal of
holding its employees to a higher standard and will help the NFL maintain its integrity in
the face of increasing concerns over the conduct of its players.
Finally, we hope you will collaborate with The HSUS to combat animal cruelty and animal
fighting in order to send a clear message to the public that the NFL does indeed intend to
hold its players to the highest standards. By setting an example of compassion for the
public, the NFL has the chance to tackle the problem of animal cruelty and animal fighting
from the top down and to truly make a difference for our communities.
I would certainly be willing to meet with you at your earliest convenience to develop the
elements of a pro-active plan to address this problem. Thank you for your attention to this
matter, and we look forward to your response.

Sincerely,
Wayne Pacelle
President & CEO

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/football/nfl/wires/05/03/2020.ap.fbn.falcons.vick.0629/index.html


I'd pay to see Vick run. From a pack of hungry dogs.

Dogs as pets through the years:

Jocko (Black poodle)
Hobo (German Sheppard)
Sam (Sheepdog)
Candy (Mutt)
Teddy (Chesapeake Bay retriever)
Tom Tom (mini toy white poodle)